Twilight 14. MIND OVER MATTER

14. MIND OVER MATTER He could drive well, when he kept the speed reasonable, I had to admit. Like so many things, it seemed to be effortless to him. He barely looked at the road, yet the tires never deviated so much as a centimeter from the center of the lane. He drove one-handed, holding my hand on the seat. Sometimes he gazed into the setting sun, sometimes he glanced at me – my face, my hair blowing out the open window, our hands twined together. He had turned the radio to an oldies station, and he sang along with a song I'd never heard. He knew every line. â€Å"You like fifties music?† I asked. â€Å"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!† He shuddered. â€Å"The eighties were bearable.† â€Å"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?† I asked, tentative, not wanting to upset his buoyant humor. â€Å"Does it matter much?† His smile, to my relief, remained unclouded. â€Å"No, but I still wonder†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I grimaced. â€Å"There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night.† â€Å"I wonder if it will upset you,† he reflected to himself. He gazed into the sun; the minutes passed. â€Å"Try me,† I finally said. He sighed, and then looked into my eyes, seeming to forget the road completely for a time. Whatever he saw there must have encouraged him. He looked into the sun – the light of the setting orb glittered off his skin in ruby-tinged sparkles – and spoke. â€Å"I was born in Chicago in 1901.† He paused and glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. My face was carefully unsurprised, patient for the rest. He smiled a tiny smile and continued. â€Å"Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza.† He heard my intake of breath, though it was barely audible to my own ears. He looked down into my eyes again. â€Å"I don't remember it well – it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade.† He was lost in his thoughts for a short time before he went on. â€Å"I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget.† â€Å"Your parents?† â€Å"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone.† â€Å"How did he†¦ save you?† A few seconds passed before he answered. He seemed to choose his words carefully. â€Å"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us†¦ I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history.† He paused. â€Å"For me, it was merely very, very painful.† I could tell from the set of his lips, he would say no more on this subject. I suppressed my curiosity, though it was far from idle. There were many things I needed to think through on this particular issue, things that were only beginning to occur to me. No doubt his quick mind had already comprehended every aspect that eluded me. His soft voice interrupted my thoughts. â€Å"He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating.† â€Å"So you must be dying, then, to become†¦Ã¢â‚¬  We never said the word, and I couldn't frame it now. â€Å"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice.† The respect in his voice was profound whenever he spoke of his father figure. â€Å"It is easier he says, though,† he continued, â€Å"if the blood is weak.† He looked at the now-dark road, and I could feel the subject closing again. â€Å"And Emmett and Rosalie?† â€Å"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him – he was careful with his thoughts around me.† He rolled his eyes. â€Å"But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting – we were in Appalachia at the time – and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her.† He threw a pointed glance in my direction, and raised our hands, still folded together, to brush my cheek with the back of his hand. â€Å"But she made it,† I encouraged, looking away from the unbearable beauty of his eyes. â€Å"Yes,† he murmured. â€Å"She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school.† He laughed. â€Å"I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, again.† â€Å"Alice and Jasper?† â€Å"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another†¦ family, a very different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind.† â€Å"Really?† I interrupted, fascinated. â€Å"But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts.† â€Å"That's true. She knows other things. She sees things – things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change.† His jaw set when he said that, and his eyes darted to my face and away so quickly that I wasn't sure if I only imagined it. â€Å"What kinds of things does she see?† â€Å"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose.† â€Å"Are there a lot of†¦ your kind?† I was surprised. How many of them could walk among us undetected? â€Å"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people† – a sly glance in my direction – â€Å"can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live†¦ differently tend to band together.† â€Å"And the others?† â€Å"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North.† â€Å"Why is that?† We were parked in front of my house now, and he'd turned off the truck. It was very quiet and dark; there was no moon. The porch light was off so I knew my father wasn't home yet. â€Å"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?† he teased. â€Å"Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years.† â€Å"So that's where the legends came from?† â€Å"Probably.† â€Å"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?† â€Å"No, and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage.† There was so much to think through, so much I still wanted to ask. But, to my great embarrassment, my stomach growled. I'd been so intrigued, I hadn't even noticed I was hungry. I realized now that I was ravenous. â€Å"I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from dinner.† â€Å"I'm fine, really.† â€Å"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget.† â€Å"I want to stay with you.† It was easier to say in the darkness, knowing as I spoke how my voice would betray me, my hopeless addiction to him. â€Å"Can't I come in?† he asked. â€Å"Would you like to?† I couldn't picture it, this godlike creature sitting in my father's shabby kitchen chair. â€Å"Yes, if it's all right.† I heard the door close quietly, and almost simultaneously he was outside my door, opening it for me. â€Å"Very human,† I complimented him. â€Å"It's definitely resurfacing.† He walked beside me in the night, so quietly I had to peek at him constantly to be sure he was still there. In the darkness he looked much more normal. Still pale, still dreamlike in his beauty, but no longer the fantastic sparkling creature of our sunlit afternoon. He reached the door ahead of me and opened it for me. I paused halfway through the frame. â€Å"The door was unlocked?† â€Å"No, I used the key from under the eave.† I stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at him with my eyebrows raised. I was sure I'd never used that key in front of him. â€Å"I was curious about you.† â€Å"You spied on me?† But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered. He was unrepentant. â€Å"What else is there to do at night?† I let it go for the moment and went down the hall to the kitchen. He was there before me, needing no guide. He sat in the very chair I'd tried to picture him in. His beauty lit up the kitchen. It was a moment before I could look away. I concentrated on getting my dinner, taking last night's lasagna from the fridge, placing a square on a plate, heating it in the microwave. It revolved, filling the kitchen with the smell of tomatoes and oregano. I didn't take my eyes from the plate of food as I spoke. â€Å"How often?† I asked casually. â€Å"Hmmm?† He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought. I still didn't turn around. â€Å"How often did you come here?† â€Å"I come here almost every night.† I whirled, stunned. â€Å"Why?† â€Å"You're interesting when you sleep.† He spoke matter-of-factly. â€Å"You talk.† â€Å"No!† I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though. His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. â€Å"Are you very angry with me?† â€Å"That depends!† I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of me. He waited. â€Å"On?† he urged. â€Å"What you heard!† I wailed. Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his. â€Å"Don't be upset!† he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away. â€Å"You miss your mother,† he whispered. â€Å"You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, ‘It's too green.'† He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further. â€Å"Anything else?† I demanded. He knew what I was getting at. â€Å"You did say my name,† he admitted. I sighed in defeat. â€Å"A lot?† â€Å"How much do you mean by ‘a lot,' exactly?† â€Å"Oh no!† I hung my head. He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally. â€Å"Don't be self-conscious,† he whispered in my ear. â€Å"If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it.† Then we both heard the sound of tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. I stiffened in his arms. â€Å"Should your father know I'm here?† he asked. â€Å"I'm not sure†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I tried to think it through quickly. â€Å"Another time then†¦Ã¢â‚¬  And I was alone. â€Å"Edward!† I hissed. I heard a ghostly chuckle, then nothing else. My father's key turned in the door. â€Å"Bella?† he called. It had bothered me before; who else would it be? Suddenly he didn't seem so far off base. â€Å"In here.† I hoped he couldn't hear the hysterical edge to my voice. I grabbed my dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as he walked in. His footsteps sounded so noisy after my day with Edward. â€Å"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed.† He stepped on the heels of his boots to take them off, holding the back of Edward's chair for support. I took my food with me, scarfing it down as I got his dinner. It burned my tongue. I filled two glasses with milk while his lasagna was heating, and gulped mine to put out the fire. As I set the glass down, I noticed the milk trembling and realized my hand was shaking. Charlie sat in the chair, and the contrast between him and its former occupant was comical. â€Å"Thanks,† he said as I placed his food on the table. â€Å"How was your day?† I asked. The words were rushed; I was dying to escape to my room. â€Å"Good. The fish were biting†¦ how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?† â€Å"Not really – it was too nice out to stay indoors.† I took another big bite. â€Å"It was a nice day,† he agreed. What an understatement, I thought to myself. Finished with the last bite of lasagna, I lifted my glass and chugged the remains of my milk. Charlie surprised me by being observant. â€Å"In a hurry?† â€Å"Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early.† â€Å"You look kinda keyed up,† he noted. Why, oh why, did this have to be his night to pay attention? â€Å"Do I?† was all I could manage in response. I quickly scrubbed my dishes clean in the sink, and placed them upside down on a dish towel to dry. â€Å"It's Saturday,† he mused. I didn't respond. â€Å"No plans tonight?† he asked suddenly. â€Å"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep.† â€Å"None of the boys in town your type, eh?† He was suspicious, but trying to play it cool. â€Å"No, none of the boys have caught my eye yet.† I was careful not to over-emphasize the word boys in my quest to be truthful with Charlie. â€Å"I thought maybe that Mike Newton†¦ you said he was friendly.† â€Å"He's Just a friend, Dad.† â€Å"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking.† Every father's dream, that his daughter will be out of the house before the hormones kick in. â€Å"Sounds like a good idea to me,† I agreed as I headed up the stairs. â€Å"‘Night, honey,† he called after me. No doubt he would be listening carefully all evening, waiting for me to try to sneak out. â€Å"See you in the morning, Dad.† See you creeping into my room tonight at midnight to check on me. I worked to make my tread sound slow and tired as I walked up the stairs to my room. I shut the door loud enough for him to hear, and then sprinted on my tiptoes to the window. I threw it open and leaned out into the night. My eyes scanned the darkness, the impenetrable shadows of the trees. â€Å"Edward?† I whispered, feeling completely idiotic. The quiet, laughing response came from behind me. â€Å"Yes?† I whirled, one hand flying to my throat in surprise. He lay, smiling hugely, across my bed, his hands behind his head, his feet dangling off the end, the picture of ease. â€Å"Oh!† I breathed, sinking unsteadily to the floor. â€Å"I'm sorry.† He pressed his lips together, trying to hide his amusement. â€Å"Just give me a minute to restart my heart.† He sat up slowly, so as not to startle me again. Then he leaned forward and reached out with his long arms to pick me up, gripping the tops of my arms like I was a toddler. He sat me on the bed beside him. â€Å"Why don't you sit with me,† he suggested, putting a cold hand on mine. â€Å"How's the heart?† â€Å"You tell me – I'm sure you hear it better than I do.† I felt his quiet laughter shake the bed. We sat there for a moment in silence, both listening to my heartbeat slow. I thought about having Edward in my room, with my father in the house. â€Å"Can I have a minute to be human?† I asked. â€Å"Certainly.† He gestured with one hand that I should proceed. â€Å"Stay,† I said, trying to look severe. â€Å"Yes, ma'am.† And he made a show of becoming a statue on the edge of my bed. I hopped up, grabbing my pajamas from off the floor, my bag of toiletries off the desk. I left the light off and slipped out, closing the door. I could hear the sound from the TV rising up the stairs. I banged the bathroom door loudly, so Charlie wouldn't come up to bother me. I meant to hurry. I brushed my teeth fiercely, trying to be thorough and speedy, removing all traces of lasagna. But the hot water of the shower couldn't be rushed. It unknotted the muscles in my back, calmed my pulse. The familiar smell of my shampoo made me feel like I might be the same person I had been this morning. I tried not to think of Edward, sitting in my room, waiting, because then I had to start all over with the calming process. Finally, I couldn't delay anymore. I shut off the water, toweling hastily, rushing again. I pulled on my holey t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Too late to regret not packing the Victoria's Secret silk pajamas my mother got me two birthdays ago, which still had the tags on them in a drawer somewhere back home. I rubbed the towel through my hair again, and then yanked the brush through it quickly. I threw the towel in the hamper, flung my brush and toothpaste into my bag. Then I dashed down the stairs so Charlie could see that I was in my pajamas, with wet hair. â€Å"‘Night, Dad.† â€Å"‘Night, Bella.† He did look startled by my appearance. Maybe that would keep him from checking on me tonight. I took the stairs two at a time, trying to be quiet, and flew into my room, closing the door tightly behind me. Edward hadn't moved a fraction of an inch, a carving of Adonis perched on my faded quilt. I smiled, and his lips twitched, the statue coming to life. His eyes appraised me, taking in the damp hair, the tattered shirt. He raised one eyebrow. â€Å"Nice.† I grimaced. â€Å"No, it looks good on you.† â€Å"Thanks,† I whispered. I went back to his side, sitting cross-legged beside him. I looked at the lines in the wooden floor. â€Å"What was all that for?† â€Å"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out.† â€Å"Oh.† He contemplated that. â€Å"Why?† As if he couldn't know Charlie's mind much more clearly than I could guess. â€Å"Apparently, I look a little overexcited.† He lifted my chin, examining my face. â€Å"You look very warm, actually.† He bent his face slowly to mine, laying his cool cheek against my skin. I held perfectly still. â€Å"Mmmmmm†¦Ã¢â‚¬  he breathed. It was very difficult, while he was touching me, to frame a coherent question. It took me a minute of scattered concentration to begin. â€Å"It seems to be†¦ much easier for you, now, to be close to me.† â€Å"Does it seem that way to you?† he murmured, his nose gliding to the corner of my jaw. I felt his hand, lighter than a moth's wing, brushing my damp hair back, so that his lips could touch the hollow beneath my ear. â€Å"Much, much easier,† I said, trying to exhale. â€Å"Hmm.† â€Å"So I was wondering†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I began again, but his fingers were slowly tracing my collarbone, and I lost my train of thought. â€Å"Yes?† he breathed. â€Å"Why is that,† my voice shook, embarrassing me, â€Å"do you think?† I felt the tremor of his breath on my neck as he laughed. â€Å"Mind over matter.† I pulled back; as I moved, he froze – and I could no longer hear the sound of his breathing. We stared cautiously at each other for a moment, and then, as his clenched jaw gradually relaxed, his expression became puzzled. â€Å"Did I do something wrong?† â€Å"No – the opposite. You're driving me crazy,† I explained. He considered that briefly, and when he spoke, he sounded pleased. â€Å"Really?† A triumphant smile slowly lit his face. â€Å"Would you like a round of applause?† I asked sarcastically. He grinned. â€Å"I'm just pleasantly surprised,† he clarified. â€Å"In the last hundred years or so,† his voice was teasing, â€Å"I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with†¦ in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it†¦ at being with you†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"You're good at everything,† I pointed out. He shrugged, allowing that, and we both laughed in whispers. â€Å"But how can it be so easy now?† I pressed. â€Å"This afternoon†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"It's not easy,† he sighed. â€Å"But this afternoon, I was still†¦ undecided. I am sorry about that, it was unforgivable for me to behave so.† â€Å"Not unforgivable,† I disagreed. â€Å"Thank you.† He smiled. â€Å"You see,† he continued, looking down now, â€Å"I wasn't sure if I was strong enough†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He picked up one of my hands and pressed it lightly to his face. â€Å"And while there was still that possibility that I might be†¦ overcome† – he breathed in the scent at my wrist – â€Å"I was†¦ susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would†¦ that I ever could†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I'd never seen him struggle so hard for words. It was so†¦ human. â€Å"So there's no possibility now?† â€Å"Mind over matter,† he repeated, smiling, his teeth bright even in the darkness. â€Å"Wow, that was easy,† I said. He threw back his head and laughed, quietly as a whisper, but still exuberantly. â€Å"Easy for you!† he amended, touching my nose with his fingertip. And then his face was abruptly serious. â€Å"I'm trying,† he whispered, his voice pained. â€Å"If it gets to be†¦ too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave.† I scowled. I didn't like the talk of leaving. â€Å"And it will be harder tomorrow,† he continued. â€Å"I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think.† â€Å"Don't go away, then,† I responded, unable to hide the longing in my voice. â€Å"That suits me,† he replied, his face relaxing into a gentle smile. â€Å"Bring on the shackles – I'm your prisoner.† But his long hands formed manacles around my wrists as he spoke. He laughed his quiet, musical laugh. He'd laughed more tonight than I'd ever heard in all the time I'd spent with him. â€Å"You seem more†¦ optimistic than usual,† I observed. â€Å"I haven't seen you like this before.† â€Å"Isn't it supposed to be like this?† He smiled. â€Å"The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?† â€Å"Very different,† I agreed. â€Å"More forceful than I'd imagined.† â€Å"For example† – his words flowed swiftly now, I had to concentrate to catch it all – â€Å"the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He grimaced. â€Å"Do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?† I nodded, though I remembered that day for a different reason. â€Å"The day you started talking to me again.† â€Å"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt – I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care. â€Å"And then the line started forming,† he chuckled. I scowled in the darkness. â€Å"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure. â€Å"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry. â€Å"And then,† he whispered, â€Å"as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer.† He was silent for a moment, probably listening to the suddenly uneven pounding of my heart. â€Å"But jealousy†¦ it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He shook his head angrily. â€Å"I should have known you'd be listening,† I groaned. â€Å"Of course.† â€Å"That made you feel jealous, though, really?† â€Å"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh.† â€Å"But honestly,† I teased, â€Å"for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Rosalie – Rosalie, the incarnation of pure beauty, Rosalie – was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?† â€Å"There's no competition.† His teeth gleamed. He drew my trapped hands around his back, holding me to his chest. I kept as still as I could, even breathing with caution. â€Å"I know there's no competition,† I mumbled into his cold skin. â€Å"That's the problem.† â€Å"Of course Rosalie is beautiful in her way, but even if she wasn't like a sister to me, even if Emmett didn't belong with her, she could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me.† He was serious now, thoughtful. â€Å"For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind, and yours†¦ all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet.† â€Å"It hardly seems fair,† I whispered, my face still resting on his chest, listening to his breath come and go. â€Å"I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?† â€Å"You're right,† he agreed with amusement. â€Å"I should make this harder for you, definitely.† He freed one of his hands, released my wrist, only to gather it carefully into his other hand. He stroked my wet hair softly, from the top of my head to my waist. â€Å"You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity†¦ what's that worth?† â€Å"Very little – I don't feel deprived of anything.† â€Å"Not yet.† And his voice was abruptly full of ancient grief. I tried to pull back, to look in his face, but his hand locked my wrists in an unbreakable hold. â€Å"What -† I started to ask, when his body became alert. I froze, but he suddenly released my hands, and disappeared. I narrowly avoided falling on my face. â€Å"Lie down!† he hissed. I couldn't tell where he spoke from in the darkness. I rolled under my quilt, balling up on my side, the way I usually slept. I heard the door crack open, as Charlie peeked in to make sure I was where I was supposed to be. I breathed evenly, exaggerating the movement. A long minute passed. I listened, not sure if I'd heard the door close. Then Edward's cool arm was around me, under the covers, his lips at my ear. â€Å"You are a terrible actress – I'd say that career path is out for you.† â€Å"Darn it,† I muttered. My heart was crashing in my chest. He hummed a melody I didn't recognize; it sounded like a lullaby. He paused. â€Å"Should I sing you to sleep?† â€Å"Right,† I laughed. â€Å"Like I could sleep with you here!† â€Å"You do it all the time,† he reminded me. â€Å"But I didn't know you were here,† I replied icily. â€Å"So if you don't want to sleep†¦Ã¢â‚¬  he suggested, ignoring my tone. My breath caught. â€Å"If I don't want to sleep†¦ ?† He chuckled. â€Å"What do you want to do then?† I couldn't answer at first. â€Å"I'm not sure,† I finally said. â€Å"Tell me when you decide.† I could feel his cool breath on my neck, feel his nose sliding along my jaw, inhaling. â€Å"I thought you were desensitized.† â€Å"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet,† he whispered. â€Å"You have a very floral smell, like lavender†¦ or freesia,† he noted. â€Å"It's mouthwatering.† â€Å"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't get somebody telling me how edible I smell.† He chuckled, and then sighed. â€Å"I've decided what I want to do,† I told him. â€Å"I want to hear more about you.† â€Å"Ask me anything.† I sifted through my questions for the most vital. â€Å"Why do you do it?† I said. â€Å"I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you†¦ are. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place.† He hesitated before answering. â€Å"That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others – the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot – they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been†¦ dealt a certain hand†¦ it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above – to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.† I lay unmoving, locked in awed silence. â€Å"Did you fall asleep?† he whispered after a few minutes. â€Å"No.† â€Å"Is that all you were curious about?† I rolled my eyes. â€Å"Not quite.† â€Å"What else do you want to know?† â€Å"Why can you read minds – why only you? And Alice, seeing the future†¦ why does that happen?† I felt him shrug in the darkness. â€Å"We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory†¦ he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified – like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was.† â€Å"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?† â€Å"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her†¦ tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness.† he chuckled. â€Å"Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him – calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift.† I considered the impossibilities he described, trying to take it in. He waited patiently while I thought. â€Å"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?† â€Å"Let me get this straight – I'm the baby seal, right?† â€Å"Right.† He laughed, and something touched my hair – his lips? I wanted to turn toward him, to see if it was really his lips against my hair. But I had to be good; I didn't want to make this any harder for him than it already was. â€Å"Are you ready to sleep?† he asked, interrupting the short silence. â€Å"Or do you have any more questions?† â€Å"Only a million or two.† â€Å"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next†¦Ã¢â‚¬  he reminded me. I smiled, euphoric at the thought. â€Å"Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning?† I wanted this to be certain. â€Å"You are mythical, after all.† â€Å"I won't leave you.† His voice had the seal of a promise in it. â€Å"One more, then, tonight†¦Ã¢â‚¬  And I blushed. The darkness was no help – I'm sure he could feel the sudden warmth under my skin. â€Å"What is it?† â€Å"No, forget it. I changed my mind.† â€Å"Bella, you can ask me anything.† I didn't answer, and he groaned. â€Å"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and worse.† â€Å"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking.† â€Å"Please?† His voice was so persuasive, so impossible to resist. I shook my head. â€Å"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is,† he threatened darkly. â€Å"Please?† Again, that pleading voice. â€Å"Well,† I began, glad that he couldn't see my face. â€Å"Yes?† â€Å"You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon†¦ Is that†¦ marriage†¦ the same as it is for humans?† He laughed in earnest now, understanding. â€Å"Is that what you're getting at?† I fidgeted, unable to answer. â€Å"Yes, I suppose it is much the same,† he said. â€Å"I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires.† â€Å"Oh,† was all I could say. â€Å"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?† â€Å"Well, I did wonder†¦ about you and me†¦ someday†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He was instantly serious, I could tell by the sudden stillness of his body. I froze, too, reacting automatically. â€Å"I don't think that†¦ that†¦ would be possible for us.† â€Å"Because it would be too hard for you, if I were that†¦ close?† â€Å"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident.† His voice had become just a soft murmur. He moved his icy palm to rest it against my cheek. â€Å"If I was too hasty†¦ if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you.† He waited for me to respond, growing anxious when I didn't. â€Å"Are you scared?† he asked. I waited for a minute to answer, so the words would be true. â€Å"No. I'm fine.† He seemed to deliberate for a moment. â€Å"I'm curious now, though,† he said, his voice light again. â€Å"Have you ever†¦ ?† He trailed off suggestively. â€Å"Of course not.† I flushed. â€Å"I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close.† â€Å"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company.† â€Å"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all,† I sighed. â€Å"That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least.† He sounded satisfied. â€Å"Your human instincts†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I began. He waited. â€Å"Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all?† He laughed and lightly rumpled my nearly dry hair. â€Å"I may not be a human, but I am a man,† he assured me. I yawned involuntarily. â€Å"I've answered your questions, now you should sleep,† he insisted. â€Å"I'm not sure if I can.† â€Å"Do you want me to leave?† â€Å"No!† I said too loudly. He laughed, and then began to hum that same, unfamiliar lullaby; the voice of an archangel, soft in my ear. More tired than I realized, exhausted from the long day of mental and emotional stress like I'd never felt before, I drifted to sleep in his cold arms.

Sannu’s Story

Unit 8. Case Study 1. Sannu’s Story Sannu has contracted Leprosy. As a sixteen year old teenager, it is hard to pin point when he was infected since Leprosy has a long incubation period. As a small boy traveling barefoot along trails in his village, Sannu’s body has already adapted to his living conditions. Sannu’s feet are tough and calloused. As Sannu ages, so does his Leprosy infection progress. The infection will cause neuropathy in his extremities which will lead to many injuries to his feet and hands. The wounds acquired will be infected for weeks or even months without treatment.The neuropathy caused by the Leprosy infection is characterized by causing a decrease in sensation in the extremities, muscle weakness, and numbness. Sannu’s feet that have been toughened by his environment and life style have been further injured due to lack of sensation and medical treatment. In an attempt to keep his feet clean to aide the healing of his infections, Sannu is more than likely maintaining a sedentary life style. This life style along with the progression of the Leprosy infection will weaken Sannu’s muscles. A feature common to all forms of Leprosy is nerve infection.Nerve damage appears to result from the multiplication of bacilli within Schwann cells and damage to the perineurium. Most of the deformities occurring from Leprosy are in fact due to trauma or a secondary infection. In a Leprosy infection one of the first symptoms are anesthesia to heat and cold. Leprosy affects the peripheral nervous system by attacking the myelin sheath surrounding the axons which affects the reliability and speed of nerve impulses. In other words, the nerve fibers are no longer insulated and nerve impulses cannot be conducted efficiently.There are different types of sensory receptors located throughout the body and are designed based on a selective stimulus response. The appropriate receptive field is stimulated within a sensory receptor produci ng a response. In Sannu’s condition this action is delayed or absent due to the damage of his free nerve endings. Free nerve endings detect pain, temperature, and touch as well as tickle and itch. Sannu’s encapsulated nerve endings are also damaged. Encapsulated nerve endings detect pressure, vibration, and touch sensations.When Dianna performed the tests to check Sannu’s Achilles tendon and Babinski’s reflex, she was evaluating his somatic senses. Somatic senses involve sensations such as touch, pressure, and pain as well as temperature perception. These are all affected in Leprosy infection. In Sannu’s case he has also lost the sensations of touch, pressure, and pain in his feet and hands due to the affects of leprosy on his nociceptors, mechanoreceptors, proprioceptors, and exteroceptors. These sensations are also present in the sensory receptors free nerve endings and encapsulated nerve endings.Sannu’s interoceptors would not be affected in a Leprosy infection because interoceptors pertain to the body’s internal environment. Mycobacterium leprae grow best in relatively cool areas of the body such as: the skin, peripheral nerves, the mucosa of the upper respiratory tract as well as the chamber of the eye and in severe untreated cases the testes and eventually other vital organs. Leprosy affects the exteroceptors of the external surface of the body. Nociceptors are the receptors of pain and are located in all tissues of the body with an exception of the brain.Proprioceptors do no adapt very much, this is why Sannu still feels pain in his leg that has been amputated. Sannu’s pain is slow pain. Slow pain is referring to pain that is chronic, burning, aching, or throbbing. The peripheral receptors activated during a stimulus are the nociceptors. Like other cutaneous and subcutaneous receptors, Nociceptors transduce a variety of stimuli into receptor potentials. Also, like other somatic sensory receptors, N ociceptors arise from cell bodies in dorsal root ganglia that send one axonal process to the periphery and the other into the spinal cord or brain stem.Peripheral Nociceptors terminate at the site of free nerve endings. Nociceptors are located in the entire body except for the brain. The loss of myelination causes impulses to misfire. Without the myelin sheath the impulses are slower and misdirected. Sannu had little sensation to his extremities because of the process related to his Leprosy infection. Phantom limb pain is a result of neuroplasticity (new neural links can be made), or the brain region that once was responsible for controlling the amputated limb is taken over by an adjacent area of the brain.The phantom limb pain is enhanced by referred sensations, so that stimuli applied to other body parts can be sensed from the phantom limb. In patients with Leprosy, phantom limb pain will not occur with only the amputation of fingers, toes, hands, or feet. Phantom limbs and phanto m limb pain will only occur when the amputation is taken up to the stump of that limb. The representation of Sannu’s amputated leg on the somatosensory map will involve referred sensations because of remapping of somatosensory areas in the brain. The activity of the somatosensory map in the brain leads to conscious experience of body image and somatic sensations.After Sannu’s amputation it is possible for him to initially experience some effects on his balance and equilibrium. This is because after amputation Sannu may still have confused senses of his missing leg. With the introduction of a prosthesis, Sannu’s brain will connect to the prosthetic device causing his brain to remember how to function as if the original leg were still there. The initial sensory loss that Sannu experienced was due to interference of the sensory pathway transmission. Leprosy affects the skin and peripheral nerves which are closest to the exterior of the body where the sensory recept ors are located.Leprosy infection is caused by mycobacterium leprae and mycobacterium lepromatosis. Both forms affect the peripheral nervous system by attacking the Schwann cells, destroying the myelin. At the site of the Schwann cell, the bacteria multiply and cause damage of the nerve architecture and cause secondary inflammation. This disease process results in desensitizing sensory receptors. This is why when Sannu cut his foot, he did not feel the pain, nor the infection that followed. Due to his location in a remote village and lack of medical care, his infection resulted in an amputation.The receptors that should have sensed the initial injury to Sannu’s foot are the exteroceptors. Exteroceptors are responsible for responding to stimulus from outside the body such as touch, pressure, pain, and temperature. After Sannu’s amputation he began experiencing phantom limb sensations. This is considered as a form of neuropathic pain. It is presumed to be a response by t he peripheral nervous system and the central nervous system of an injury. The process of reorganizing occurs from retained nerves from the amputated limb, spinal cord, thalamus, and cerebral cortex.After an amputation the area of the brain that is responsible for processing the sensations from the missing limb are taken over by areas that neighbored the missing limb. It is believed that around 95% of people are naturally immune to Leprosy. Recent research suggests that there is a defect in cell-mediated immunity that causes susceptibility to Leprosy. The area of DNA responsible for that variable is also found in Parkinson’s disease. It is speculated the two disorders are linked somehow at the biochemical level. Research has shown that susceptibility to the disease was linked to region q25 on the long arm of chromosome 6.Further study indicated that the Leprosy susceptibility gene lies within a region shared by two genes for Parkinson’s disease. Resources The Merk Manua l of Diagnosis and Therapy â€Å"Infectious Diseases caused by Mycobacteria† 2004 International Journal of Leprosy and other Mycobacterial Diseases â€Å"Linkage of Leprosy Susceptibility to Parkinson’s Disease Genes† June 2004 www. who. ch/program [email  protected] nl www. encyclopedia. com www. ncbi. nlm. nih. gov/pubmed/15372437 en. wikipedia. org/wiki/proprioception rarediseases. about. com. lepercolonies. thalidomide May 16 2009 pubmed. gov Muscle Nerve October 30 2004

Essay on Why Students Should Go to School - 765 Words

Why should students go to school? There are several reasons why kids need to go to school but to me, the top three reasons are getting an education helps you go farther in life, it’s required by the state that you go till you reach a certain age, and it will help you learn social skills and help you be comfortable to talking to people. Although students may not like going to school, it benefits them in the long run. It is important for students to go to school to get an education. Even though some students may not like to go to school it is required that they go. Even though students may not realize it but they also learn social skills by making friends and talking in front of people. It’s significant for students to go to school so†¦show more content†¦If you ever went into a business where you had to do a presentation on a piece of work you’ve been working on or if you came up with a new idea that you thought could help your business, you would most likely have to present the informati on in front of your boss and coworkers. Having social skills could play a big role in your presentation because if you was not comfortable talking in front of a crowd, then you could either: freeze up while talking, talk too fast cause you’re so nervous and want to get the presentation over with, your face could turn red, etc. But, if you had social skills and were use to talking in front of a group of people then you will be comfortable presenting your project with no worries. Also by socializing students can make friends. By making friends school could also be more enjoyable. You will have friends to eat lunch with; friends to hang out with on the weekends and you will have friends in your classes so they will be less boring. If you went to a school where you didn’t have any friends or where you didn’t like anyone, then you will not enjoy the activities you may do in class and you may want to change schools to find kids that you do like and will enjoy being ar ound. By having social skills it will help you talk to people and make friends. Students may not like going to school but, it is for the best. By going to school students can get an education and get a job or go to college andShow MoreRelatedEssay On School Uniforms1388 Words   |  6 PagesStevens Miss. Windish English II 16 October 2017 Dress for Success Many schools have decided that having school uniforms is the best for their students. Other schools don’t want to limit the student’s freedom of speech. Schools can’t decide which is the best - have uniforms or not. 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Heat of Fusion Example Problem - Melting Ice

Heat of fusion is the amount of heat energy required to change the state of matter of a substance from a solid to a liquid. Its also known as enthalpy of fusion. Its units are usually Joules per gram (J/g) or calories per gram (cal/g). This example problem demonstrates how to calculate the amount of energy required to melt a sample of water ice. Key Takeaways: Heat of Fusion for Melting Ice Heat of fusion is the amount of energy in the form of heat needed to change the state of matter from a solid to a liquid (melting.)The formula to calculate heat of fusion is: q m ·ÃŽâ€HfNote that the temperature does not actually change when matter changes state, so its not in the equation or needed for the calculation.Except for melting helium, heat of fusion is always a positive value. Example Problem What is the heat in Joules required to melt 25 grams of ice? What is the heat in calories? Useful information: Heat of fusion of water 334 J/g 80 cal/g Solution ï » ¿In the problem, the heat of fusion is given. This isnt a number youre expected to know off the top of your head. There are chemistry tables that state common heat of fusion values. To solve this problem, youll need the formula that relates heat energy to mass and heat of fusion:q m ·ÃŽâ€Hfwhereq heat energym massΔHf heat of fusion Temperature is not anywhere in the equation because it doesnt change when matter changes state. The equation is straightforward, so the key is to make sure youre using the right units for the answer. To get heat in Joules:q (25 g)x(334 J/g)q 8350 JIts just as easy to express the heat in terms of calories:q m ·ÃŽâ€Hfq (25 g)x(80 cal/g)q 2000 calAnswer: The amount of heat required to melt 25 grams of ice is 8,350 Joules or 2,000 calories. Note: Heat of fusion should be a positive value. (The exception is helium.) If you get a negative number, check your math.

Psychosis, Paranoia And Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorder Essay

The world is being affected by the psychological disorder Schizophrenia every day. The disease itself can be traced back to the second millennium before Christ. Schizophrenia can be diagnosis using Dr. Eugen Bleuler â€Å"positive† and â€Å"negative† symptoms. Schizophrenia is â€Å" a psychotic disorder characterized by loss of contact with the environment, by noticeable deterioration in the level of functioning in everyday life, and by disintegration of personality expressed as disorder of feeling, thought (as delusion), perception (as hallucinations) and behavior (demetia praecox) or contradictory or antagonistic qualities or attitudes (Merrium Webster). There are several types of this disease however, I will only discuss three: Psychosis, Paranoia and Schizophrenia-Spectrum Disorder. Over the years of study on how to treat Schizophrenia there are known first and second generation anti-psychotics and therapies available. Schizophrenia is an important problem in the world and many people need help. Schizophrenia is a mind/bind psychological disorder that affects 1% of the world population during their lifetime (Okami 652). In 1887 a German physician, Dr. Emile Kraepelin was the first to compare the different symptoms by looking at the biological and genetic malfunction to identify the chief origin of the disease which he called â€Å"Dementia praecox†. The term dementia praecox was relabeled to be called Schizophrenia by a Swiss psychiatrist, Dr. Eugen Bleuler in 1907. 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Taxation Law Work Related Expenses

Question: Describe about the Taxation Law for Work Related Expenses. Answer: 1:- For the Australian residents the incomes, earned from all direct and indirect sources within or outside Australia, are considered as the assessable income. Any income generated from the sale of property by any Australian resident, therefore, should be treated as an assessable income of the individual resident (Woellner et al. 2012). However, under ITAA 1997, the assessable incomes are classified into two sections ordinary income and statutory income. Ordinary incomes can be described as the incomes, generated from ordinary or general course of action. Under section 6-5, the main ordinary incomes are stated below: Income from personal exertion, such as, salary, wages, leave encashment, monthly pension etc. Income from property, such as, rent from properties, interest on deposits, dividend from investments etc. Income from business, such as, net profit from business, sale of trading stocks, net income from farming etc (www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au, 2016) On the other hand, statutory incomes can be defined as the income, which has not been generated from ordinary courses. These incomes, as described in the section 10-5, are described below: Capital gains from sale of capital assets Lump Sum payment, received on termination of employment Bonus on Insurance Bad Debts recovered Profit from Barter transaction Royalties Imputation credit (www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au, 2016) The statutory incomes are calculated separately to determine the taxable amount from such incomes. Peta, had purchased the house with tennis court for living in the house permanently and to earn profits by selling the tennis courts in units. However, she sold the whole tennis court later to a tennis club. The income from the sale of the tennis court is surely an assessable income. Peta had purchased the property with an intention to sale the tennis courts for earning profits. Therefore, the net income, after deducting the expenses, incurred for resurfacing and fencing, can be considered as business income. In that case, it can be included as an ordinary income of Peta under section 6-5 (Austlii.edu.au, 2016). However, it should be noted that though Peta had an intention to sale the property, she did not involve in any kind of real estate business. Apart from that, she had intended to sell the property in small units, but had to sell it in a whole. Hence, the income from the sale of the property should be considered as statutory income under section 10-5, instead of, ordinary income. Moreover, if Peta would show the income as ordinary income, then she has to pay tax on the net income, by deducting the cost price and other expenses, incurred for the assets. However, if it is shown as capital gain, she can claim for 50% exemption on the net income (Ato.gov.au, 2016). Therefore, from both the point of views, the receipt of $600000 should not be considered as an ordinary income under section 6-5. 2:- It is necessary to made the following assumptions for ascertaining the Fringe Benefit Tax liability of ABC Pty. Ltd. on the expenses, made for Alan:- Salaries and wages, paid to the employees, are not considered for FBT and therefore, the salary of Alan will not be included for FBT liability computation (Bender et al. 2013). Mobile phone bill, paid by the employer, on behalf of employee, is treated as expense fringe tax benefit. ABC Pty. Ltd. has not reimbursed the mobile phone expenses to Alan, but paid to the third party directly. Though, the monthly mobile expenses is lower than $300, but annually the expense ins amounted to $2640. Therefore, ABC Pty. Ltd. can consider the mobile expense for fringe tax benefit (Ato.gov.au.2016). The school fees of the Alan children, paid by ABC Pty. Ltd, are also an expense fringe benefit, where the employer is paying the employees private expenses directly on behalf of the employee. Hence, it should be included for fringe benefit taxation purpose (Delany 2012). The mobile phone is provided to Alan for work purpose. From employers end, it should be treated as work related expenses. Hence, the cost of mobile phone should be included for calculating the total amount for GST Inclusive items and later the gross-up amount of the hand set should be excluded from the FBT taxable amount (James et al. 2013). Any expenses, paid for the entertainment of the employees by the employer, are referred as entertainment fringe benefits. It should be noted that the employer can claim for deduction on such expenses under otherwise deductible rule (Rimmer et al. 2014). However, the claim can be made only for the amount, spent for the employees only. Any expenses, spend for the entertainment of the family members or associates of the employees, cannot be included in the entertainment fringe benefits. As the exact per head amount, spent for the entertainment purpose of the employees only, is not possible for ABC Pty. Ltd., the total amount is included in the fringe benefit tax calculation (Jones 2015). It is necessary to compute the total amount of GST inclusive benefits and GST free benefits separately. Then the total values are summarized by multiplying the individual Gross up rates, applicable to the different types of benefits (Ramli et al. 2015). The net taxable value, after deducting the exempted amount from the total gross up value, is then charged with FBT rate, i.e., 49% to calculate the total Fringe Benefit Tax Liability of the employer (Soled and Thomas 2015). On the basis of the assumptions and rules, the fringe benefit tax liability of ABC Pty. Ltd. is calculated in the following table:- In the Books of ABC Ltd. Calculation of Fringe Benefit Tax Liability as on 31.03.2015 GST Inclusive GST Free Particulars Amount Amount $ $ Payment of Phone Bill 2640 Payment of School fees of Employee's Children 20000 Dinner at Restaurant 330 Providing Mobile Phone 2000 Total of GST Inclusive/Free Benefits 4970 20000 A B Gross-up Rate 2.1463 1.9608 C D Gross-up Value 10667.11 39216 E = A x C F=B X D Total Taxable Fringe Benefit 49883.11 G = E + F Less : Exemption for Mobile Phone at gross-up value 4292.60 ($2000 x 2.1463) H Net Taxable Fringe Benefit 45590.51 I = G - H Fringe Benefit Tax Rate 49% J Fringe Benefit Tax Liability 22339.35 K = I x J 2.b:- If ABC Pty. Ltd. includes only 5 employees for dinner and the total cost of dinner remains same, in that case, the per head dinner cost will become higher. It would result in higher FBT liability (Kaplan and Price 2014). The calculations are given below: In the Books of ABC Ltd. Calculation of Alternative Fringe Benefit Tax Liability as on 31.03.2015 GST Inclusive GST Free Particulars Amount Amount $ $ Payment of Phone Bill 2640 Payment of School fees of Employee's Children 20000 Dinner at Restaurant 1320 Providing Mobile Phone 2000 Total of GST Inclusive/Free Benefits 5960 20000 A B Gross-up Rate 2.1463 1.9608 C D Gross-up Value 12791.95 39216 E = A x C F=B X D Total Taxable Fringe Benefit 52007.95 G = E + F Less : Exemption for Mobile Phone at gross-up value 4292.60 ($2000 x 2.1463) H Net Taxable Fringe Benefit 47715.35 I = G - H Fringe Benefit Tax Rate 49% J Alternative Fringe Benefit Tax Liability 23380.52 K = I x J However, if the per head cost of dinner remains same and the total cost of dinner would reduce accordingly, then the total FBT liability will remain unchanged as per the calculations, shown in answer 2.a (Shields and North-Samardzic 2015). 2.c:- The entertainment fringe tax benefit is only applicable for the benefits, provided for the employees. If ABC Pty. Ltd. includes its clients, then also the fringe tax benefit would include only the cost, incurred for employees. The company cannot get any deduction for the entertainment of the clients (Martocchio 2013). References:- Ato.gov.au. (2016).Fringe benefits tax (FBT) | Australian Taxation Office. [online] Available at: https://www.ato.gov.au/General/Fringe-benefits-tax-(FBT)/ [Accessed 27 May 2016]. Delany, T.P., 2012. Fringe benefits tax James, S., Wallschutzky, I. and Alley, C., 2013. The Henry Report and the taxation of work related expenses: Principles versus practice Jones, S., 2015. 'Cost-to-company'explained: tax planning.Tax Breaks Newsletter, (349), pp.6-7 Kaplan, R.L. and Price, D.J., 2014. Change and Continuity in Fringe Benefit Taxation: Seeking Sense and Sensibility.NYL Sch. L. Rev.,59, p.281 Martocchio, J., 2013.Employee benefits. McGraw-Hill Higher Education Ramli, R., Palil, M.R., Hassan, N.S.A. and Mustapha, A.F., 2015. Compliance costs of goods and services tax (GST) among small and medium enterprises.Jurnal Pengurusan,45, pp.1-15 Rimmer, X., Smith, J. and Wende, S., 2014. The incidence of company tax in Australia Soled, J.A. and Thomas, K.D., 2015. Revisiting the Taxation of Fringe Benefits.Washington Law Review, Forthcoming Woellner, R., Barkoczy, S., Murphy, S., Evans, C. and Pinto, D., 2012.Australian taxation law. CCH Australia www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au. (2016). www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/toolbox/finance/fnbacc02a/preparetax/keyprinciple/ordinaryi.htm. [online] Available at: https://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/toolbox/finance/fnbacc02a/preparetax/keyprinciple/ordinaryi.htm [Accessed 13 Sep. 2016]. www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au. (2016). www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/toolbox/finance/fnbacc02a/preparetax/keyprinciple/statutoryi2.htm. [online] Available at: https://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/toolbox/finance/fnbacc02a/preparetax/keyprinciple/statutoryi2.htm [Accessed 13 Sep. 2016]. Ato.gov.au. (2016). What to include in your assessable income | Australian Taxation Office. [online] Available at: https://www.ato.gov.au/Business/Income-and-deductions-for-business/Working-out-your-assessable-income/What-to-include-in-your-assessable-income/ [Accessed 13 Sep. 2016]. Bender, M., Contacos-Sawyer, J. and Thomas, B., 2013, July. Benefits Strategies for Attracting and Retaining Employees. InCompetition Forum(Vol. 11, No. 2, p. 165). American Society for Competitiveness Shields, J. and North-Samardzic, A., 2015. 10 Employee benefits.Managing Employee Performance Reward: Concepts, Practices, Strategies, p.218 Austlii.edu.au. (2016). INCOME TAX ASSESSMENT ACT 1997 - SECT 6.5Income according to ordinary concepts (ordinary income). [online] Available at: https://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/itaa1997240/s6.5.html [Accessed 13 Sep. 2016].

The Beatitudes Essay Example

The Beatitudes Essay The beatitudes, or the commandments of blessedness, given us by the Saviour, do not in anyway annul the commandments of the Law. On the contrary, these commandments complement each other. The Ten Commandments of the Law are restricted to prohibiting those acts which would be sinful. The Beatitudes explain to us how we may attain Christian perfection or grace. The Ten Commandments were given in Old Testament times to restrain wild, primitive people from evil. The Beatitudes are given to Christians to show them what disposition to have in order to draw closer and closer to God, to acquire holiness, and together with that, blessedness, which is the highest degree of happiness. Holiness, arising from proximity to God, is the loftiest blessedness, the greatest happiness that anyone could possibly desire. The Old Testament Law is a strict code of righteousness, but the New Testament Law of Christ is the law of Divine love and grace, the only means by which people are given the strength to live in full observance of the Law of God and to approach perfection. We will write a custom essay sample on The Beatitudes specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on The Beatitudes specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on The Beatitudes specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer Jesus Christ, calling us to the eternal Kingdom of God, shows us the way to it through fulfillment of His commandments. For their fulfillment He, the King of Heaven and earth, promises eternal blessedness in the future eternal life. Our Saviour teaches: 1. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. 2. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. 3. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 4. Blessed are they that do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. 5. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. . Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 7. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. 8. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. 9. Blessed are you when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for My sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in Heaven. In each of these teachings of the Lord, one should observe the commandments on the one hand and the promises of reward on the other. For the fulfillment of the commandments of the Beatitudes it is necessary to have contact with God through prayer, both internal and external. One must struggle against sinful inclinations through fasting, abstinence, and so on. The First Beatitude Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed — joyful in the highest degree and pleasing to God; poor in spirit — humble, those who are conscious of their imperfections and unworthiness before God, and never think that they are better or more holy than others. Spiritual lowliness is the conviction that our entire life and all our spiritual and physical blessings, such as life, health, strength, spiritual ability, knowledge, riches, and every good thing of life, all this is the gift of our Creator God. Without help from Heaven, it is impossible to acquire either material well-being or spiritual riches. All this is the gift of God. Spiritual lowliness is called humility. Humility is the foundation of Christian virtue, because it is the opposite of pride, and pride introduced all evil into the world. Due to pride the first among the angels became the Devil; the first people sinned, their descendants quarreled and went to war among themselves from pride. The first sin was pride (Sirach, or Ecclesiasticus 10:15). Without humility it is impossible to return to God. Nor are any of the other Christian virtues possible. Humility permits us to know ourselves, correctly to assess our worth and deficiencies. It acts beneficially in the fulfillment of our obligations to our neighbor, arouses and strengthens in us faith in God, hope and love for Him. It attracts the mercy of God to us and also disposes people well towards us. The Word of God says, A sacrifice unto God is a broken spirit; a heart is broken and humbled God will not despise (Ps. 50:17). Surely he scorneth scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly (Prov. 3:34). Learn of me, instructs the Saviour, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls (Matt. 11:29). Physical misery or privation can result in the acquisition of much spiritual humility if this privation or need is accepted with good will, without a murmur. But physical privation does not always result in spiritual humility; it can lead to bitterness. Even the wealthy can be spiritually humble if they understand that visible, material wealth is decadent and transitory, fleeting, and that it is substitute for spiritual riches. They must understand the word of the Lord, For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his soul? (Matt. 16:26). But Christian humility must be strictly distinguished from self-seeking self-abasement, such as fawning and flattery, which discredit human dignity. It is necessary strictly to reject so-called noble self-love or defense against affronts to ones honor, which reflect prejudices, pernicious superstitions, which were inherited from Roman paganism hostile to Christianity. The true Christian must decisively renounce these superstitions which resulted in the anti-Christian and shameful custom of the duel and revenge. In reward for meekness of spirit, humility, the Lord Jesus Christ promises the Kingdom of Heaven, a life of eternal blessedness. Participation in the Kingdom of God for the humble begins here and now — by means of faith and hope in God; but the ultimate reward in all of its fullness will be seen in the future life. The Second Beatitude Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. The weeping about which the second beatitude speaks is first of all true tribulation of heart, and repentant tears for our sins, weeping over our guilt before the merciful God (for example, the tears of the Apostle Peter after his renunciation). For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of, but the sorrow of the world worketh death, said the Apostle Paul (2 Cor. 7:10). Tribulation and tears coming from misfortunes which befall us can be spiritually beneficial. For example, the death of one of our close ones can result in beneficial tears, if the sorrow is permeated by faith and hope, patience and devotion to the will of God. Jesus Christ Himself wept over the death of Lazarus. Even more so can tears and tribulation lead to blessedness when they are shed over the suffering of our unfortunate neighbor, if these sincere tears are ccompanied by Christian deeds of love and mercy. Worldly grief is grief without hope in God. It proceeds not from acknowledgment of ones sins before God, but rather from disappointment in ambition, aspiration to power, desire for gain. Such sadness, characterized by despondency and despair, leads to spiritual death, which can also result in physical death, by suicide or simply weakness due to lack of will to live. An example of such grief is that of Judas Iscariot, the betrayer of Christ the Saviour. As a reward for mourning the Lord promises that they that mourn will be comforted. They will receive forgiveness of sins, and through this, internal peace. The mourners will receive eternal joy, eternal blessedness. The Third Beatitude Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Meekness is peaceful, fully developed Christian love, free from all malice. It is manifested in the spirit of a man who never becomes angry, and never permits himself to grumble against God or people. Meek people do not become irritated and they do not vex or aggravate other people. Christian meekness expresses itself mainly in patient endurance of insults inflicted by others and is the opposite of anger, malice, self-exaltation and vengeance. A meek person always regrets the hardness of heart of the offending party. He desires his correction, prays to God for forgiveness of his deeds, remembering the precept of the Apostle: If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord (Romans 12:18-19). The best example of meekness given to us is that of our Lord Jesus praying on the cross for His enemies. He taught us to not take vengeance on our enemies but to do good to them. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls (Matt. 11:29). Meekness tames even the hardest hearts. We can be convinced of this by observing the lives of people, and we find confirmation of it throughout the history of Christian persecutions. A Christian may become angry only with himself, at his own fall into sin, and at the tempter — the Devil. The Lord promises the meek that they will inherit the earth. This promise indicates that meek people in the present life will be preserved on earth by the power of God, in spite of all the intrigues of men and the most cruel persecution. But in the future life, they will be heirs of the heavenly homeland, the new earth (2 Peter 3:13) with its eternal blessings. The Fourth Beatitude Blessed are they that do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness are those people who deeply acknowledge their sinfulness, their guilt before God, and have a burning desire for righteousness. They try to serve God by a righteous life according to the commandments of Christ, which requires from Christians the most holy righteousness in all their relations with their neighbors. The expression hunger and thirst indicates that our yearning for righteousness must be very strong, as strong as our desire to appease our appetite and thirst. King David beautifully expressed such yearning, As the hart panteth after the fountains of water, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsted for God, the mighty the living (Ps. 41:1-2). God promised that those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled. By this is meant spiritual satisfaction, comprised of internal spiritual peace, a calm conscience, justification, and forgiveness. Such satisfaction in the present, earthly life occurs only in part. The Lord reveals the mysteries of His kingdom to those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, more than to others. Their hearts in this world are delighted with knowledge revealed in the divine truths of the Gospel, in Orthodox teachings. Full satiety, full satisfaction of the holy yearnings of the human soul, and from this highest joy and blessedness, will be granted them in the future, blessed life with God. As the psalmist King David says, I shall be filled when Thy glory is made manifest to me (Ps. 16:16). The Fifth Beatitude Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy The merciful are those who have compassion for others, who with all their hearts pity those who have fallen into misfortune or unhappiness, and who try to help them with good works. Works of mercy are both physical and spiritual. Bodily works of mercy: Feeding the hungry. Giving drink to the thirsty. Clothing the naked. Visiting those in prison. Visiting the sick and helping them recover or preparing them for a Christian death. Inviting strangers and foreigners and travellers into ones home and giving them rest. Burying the dead. Spiritual works of mercy: By word and example to convert the sinner from the error of his way (James 5:20). Teaching the ignorant truth and goodness. Dispensing good and timely advice to neighbors who are in distress or danger. Comforting the grieving. Refraining from returning evil for evil. Forgiving offenses with all ones heart. Praying to God for everyone. To the merciful, God promises in return that they will receive mercy. In the future judgment of Christ they will be shown the special mercy for the righteous. They will be delivered from eternal punishment for their sins to the degree to which they showed mercy to others on earth (See Matt: 25:31-46). The Sixth Beatitude Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. The pure in heart are those people who not only do not sin openly, but do not conceal unclean thoughts, desires and feelings in their hearts. The hearts of such people are free from attachment and infatuation with physical, earthly things. In general they are free from passions caused by self-centeredness, egotism and pride. People with pure hearts unceasingly think about God. In order to acquire a pure heart, it is necessary to observe the fasts proclaimed by the Church, and to guard oneself against gluttony, drunkenness, depraved spectacles and amusements, improper teachings and indecent books. Purity of heart is far superior to simple sincerity. Sincerity requires only that a person be candid and single hearted in relation to his neighbor. But purity of heart requires complete suppression of depraved thoughts and constant remembrance of God and His holy commandments. To the pure in heart God promises that they will see God. Here on earth they will see Him through Grace, mysteriously, with the spiritual eyes of their hearts. They can see God in His revelations, images and likenesses. In the future, eternal life, they will see God as He is (1 John 3:2). Furthermore, since contemplation of God is a source of the highest blessing, the promise to see God is a promise of the highest degree of blessedness. The Seventh Beatitude Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Peacemakers are people living with everyone in peace and harmony and fostering peace among people. When other people are at enmity among themselves they try to reconcile them, or at least pray to God for their reconciliation. Peacemakers remember the words of the Saviour, Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you (John 14:27). If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men, said the Apostle Paul (Romans 12:18). To the peacemakers the Lord promises that they will be called sons of God. They will be the closest to God, heirs of God, joint-heirs with Christ. The peacemakers by their spiritual feat resemble the Only-begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ, Who came to earth to reconcile sinful people with Divine judgment and to establish peace among people in place of the animosity reigning among them. Therefore to the peacemakers is promised the epithet, sons of God, and inexpressible blessedness. The Eighth Beatitude Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. For righteousness sake, is meant to live righteously according to the commandments of God, and resolutely fulfilling Christian obligations. Persecuted — for their righteous and pious life, they suffer oppression, persecution, privation and adversity at the hands of the unrighteous enemies of truth and goodness, but nothing can cause them to waver from the truth. Persecution is inevitable for Christians living according to the Gospel’s righteousness, because evil people detest righteousness, as truth exposes their evil deeds, and always persecute people who stand for the truth. The Only-begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ, was Himself crucified by haters of Gods truth. For all His followers He predicted: If they have persecuted Me, they will also persecute you (John 15:20). All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution, says the Apostle Paul (2 Tim. 3:12). In order to endure persecution patiently for righteousness sake, a person must have love for the truth, be steadfast and firm in virtuous living, have courage and patience, and faith and hope in the help and protection of God. To those persecuted for righteousness sake, for their struggles in confessing the truth, the Lord promises the Kingdom of Heaven, spiritual triumph, joy and blessedness in the heavenly dwellings of the future eternal life (see Luke 22:28-30). The Ninth Beatitude Blessed are ye when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad, for great is your reward in Heaven. In the last, the ninth commandment, our Lord Jesus Christ calls especially blessed those who for the sake of Christ and for the true Orthodox faith in Him, patiently bear disgrace, persecution, malice, defamation, mockery, privation and even death. Such a spiritual feat is known as martyrdom. There is no higher spiritual feat than martyrdom. The courage of Christian martyrs must be distinguished from fanaticism, which is irrational zeal not according to reason. Christian martyrs must also be distinguished from the lack of feeling brought on by despair or pretended indifference, with which some criminals because their incorrigible hardness and pride, serve out their sentences and go to execution. Christian courage is based on the highest of Christian virtues, on faith in God, on hope in God, on love for God and neighbor, on complete obedience and unshaken faith in the Lord God. The highest form of martyrdom was suffered by Jesus Christ Himself, and in like manner, the Apostles and an innumerable multitude of Christians, who with joy went to martyrdom for the name of Christ. Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, and looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith, Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds (Heb. 12:1-3). For the spiritual feat of martyrdom, the Lord promises a reward in Heaven. But here on earth the Lord glorifies many martyrs for their firm confession of faith with incorruptible bodies and miracles. If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part He is evil spoken of, but on your part He is glorified. But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other mens matters. Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf (1 Pet. 4:14-16). Numberless Christians martyrs rejoiced during unspeakable torture, accounts of which are preserved in factual accounts of lives of the Saints. Note: In Roman courts, special scribes were obligated to write protocols (official records) of judicial procedures and legal decisions. Such protocols of interrogations, made in Roman courts during the legal process of Christian martyrs, after the period of persecutions were carefully preserved by the Church. The protocols came to be trustworthy accounts of the feats of martyrdom of the Christians. Discussion on the Meaning of Evil The concept of evil in the world imposes a grave burden of doubt in the hearts of many faithful people. It seems inconceivable that God would permit evil. In fact, God in His Omnipotence could easily eliminate evil. How could a merciful God allow the evil deed of a single offender to doom thousands, sometimes millions, or even half of humanity to poverty, grief or disaster? What then is the meaning of evil? With God nothing is without reason. In order to answer this question, it is necessary to recall what evil is. By the term evil we do not mean suffering, need and deprivation, but sin and moral guilt. God does not desire evil. Almighty God cannot approve of evil. More than that, God forbids evil. God punishes evil. Evil or sin is in contradiction to the will of God. Sin began, as we know, when the highest angel, created by God, insolently rejected obedience to the blessed will of God and became the Devil. Evil is caused by the Devil. He inspires or influences the occurrence of sin in man. It is not the body which is the source of sin, as many believe. The body becomes an instrument of sin or of good not of itself but through the will of a person. True faith in Christ elucidates the following two causes of sin in the world: The first cause lies in the free will of man. Our free will is the mark of our likeness to God. This gift of God elevates mankind to the highest of all earthly creatures. By freely choosing good and rejecting evil man exalts God, glorifies Him and perfects himself. In the book of the Wisdom of Sirach (Ecclesiasticus 15:14), it says, He (God) in the beginning made man and left him in the hand of his own free will. By this God gives to people of good will the possibility to attain Heaven, and to people of evil will, the other world. However it happens, the result is only by means of a persons free will. Saint Cyril of Jerusalem says, If nature were fused together and it were not possible to do good by free will, then for whom would God prepare the inexplicable crown? Sheep are gentle, but they will never be crowned for their gentleness, because their gentleness comes not from their own free will but from their very nature. Saint Basil the Great says, Why is not sinlessness incorporated our nature, so that it would be impossible to sin, even if we wanted? You do not recognize good and faithful servants when you keep them restricted, but only when you see that they voluntarily fulfill their responsibilities before you. Virtue comes on the condition of free will, not necessity; and free will depends on the condition that we be free. Therefore, whoever reproaches the Creator for not creating us sinless prefers the irrational, immovable nature, not having any yearnings, nature gifted with judgment and independence. In other words, he prefers robots to intelligent creatures. Thus, the internal cause for the origin of evil, or sin, consists of the will of man. The second basis for the existence of evil consists in the fact that directs evil to good. But God does not tolerate evil for the sake of good. For God, it is not necessary to pay such a high price. God does not wish for evil under any circumstances. Bu t when evil penetrated into the world through the fault of sinful people, then God, in plan for the world, compelled even evil to serve good. For example, the sons of Jacob sold his brother Joseph into slavery. They committed an evil deed, but God turned the evil into good. Joseph rose in Egypt and acquired the capacity to save from starvation the family from which the Messiah would come. When Joseph saw his brothers several years later, he said to them, You intended evil against me, but God turned it into good! In the days of the Apostles, the Jews persecuted Christians in Palestine. The Christians had to flee from Judea, the land sanctified by the life and blood of the Saviour. But everywhere they went they sowed the words of the Gospel. The sins of the persecutors were directed into spreading Christianity. The pagan emperors of Rome persecuted the young Christian Church. Tens of thousands of martyrs shed their blood for Christ. The blood of the martyrs became seeds for millions of new Christians. The fury of the persecutors, their sins of hatred and murder were directed by God in this instance into the building up of the Church. They thought and accomplished evil. God turned all of their deeds to the good. The history of mankind, right up to the events of our day, testifies to the truth of these words. The greatest downfall of man concurred with the greatest religious triumph, the turning of men to God. We need only have patience and wait, one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day (2 Peter 3:8) But this intertwining of evil into the plan for the management of the world did not appear to be some sort of belated addition for the correction of creation. The intertwining of evil was provided for in the act of the eternal will of God, in which was determined the creation of the world. For God is the eternal today! His foresight extends to eternity. It functions always and without interruption. (Extracted from a brochure by L. Lusin, Who is Right? with additions. )